your thong is hanging out like whoa
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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