every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
