No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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