Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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