You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
