You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
