We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
