So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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