do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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