You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
