either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I need water and some morals
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
