She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
