I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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