woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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