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honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
