dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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