so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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