Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize