How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
