id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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