there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
