Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
