what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
