I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
