he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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