I'm eating all of the evidence.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I lost the right to judge tonight
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
