A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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