Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
