I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
