Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
