Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
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I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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