i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
