Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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