I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
