I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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