when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
