Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
