I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
