textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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