he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
