Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
