I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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