"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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