real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
