i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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