also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
