Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
