Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
