She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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