omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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