He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
