You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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