Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
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Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
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These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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