How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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