the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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