I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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