With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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