I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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