Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize