I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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