Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
