I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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