i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
