$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
should my penis look like a turkey
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
