just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
being pregnant is like rehab
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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