How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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