Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
