Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
