i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
