Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am available for nakedness
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
